1 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,106 And I told those girls, like Michael Jackson, 2 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,208 andquot;The kid is not my son. 3 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,909 (laughing) 4 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,611 Rodney, you crazy. You ain't tell her that. 5 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,514 You know I told her that. I knows a lot. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,416 What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? 7 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,917 My people. What's up, Tony? 8 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,419 I've been looking for you all day, man. Where you been? 9 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,487 You got that money you owe me? 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,122 I don't have your money, 11 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,490 but I had it when I was looking for you. 12 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,658 But you got money for a haircut, though, huh? 13 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,494 Don't worry about what me and Larry got worked out, okay? 14 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,596 Man, we ain't got nothing worked out. 15 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,165 Either I can cut your hair or I can cut you. 16 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,266 Does that work? 17 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,967 Larry, not in front of everybody, man. 18 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,104 You can talk to me like that in private, brother, all right? 19 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,505 Now, look, what I need to know from you is 20 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,706 how many are in front of me. 21 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,375 What he meant, uh, was take a seat right here, bro. 22 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:44,044 I got a empty seat, I'll tighten you up, I'm nice, too. 23 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:47,281 As tempting as that sounds, 24 00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,850 I'm gonna have to pass, brother. 25 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,154 Maybe I'll, you know, wait for Larry or Rodney or-- 26 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:56,290 I'll take my man cut. Do you cut? 27 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:59,059 I tell you what, first cut is on me. 28 00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,628 Just go and hop in the seat. 29 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:04,132 I will give you $20 for me not to sit in the chair. 30 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,134 I'm gonna go ahead and hold tight. 31 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,368 I'll be over here, brother. 32 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,470 Now, go on let the youngster cut your hair up, man. 33 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,939 While he at it, he can take care of them back hairs. 34 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,174 (giggling) He told you about that. 35 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,843 Hey, man, I told you in confidence, dawg. 36 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,578 I can't ever get no love up here. 37 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,046 It's the way you dress, man. 38 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,349 Tell him, Ton. You wouldn't get no haircut 39 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,651 from a brother wearing skinny jeans. 40 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,454 Not when they're hanging that low. 41 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,788 Yeah, y'all keep laughing now. 42 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,390 I can get this whole place cracking. 43 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,160 Yeah, speaking of cracking, pull your pants up. 44 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:38,232 Man, look, look, Quincy or Quigley, or Quentin-- whatever your name is-- 45 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,501 see, now, being a barber is not about, you know, 46 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,802 an overnight success. 47 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,471 It's about taking your time 48 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,507 and building up a client base that trusts you. 49 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,176 I tried to tell 'em, 50 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,178 let me set up a MySpace page for the shop. 51 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,845 You want to be a barber? 52 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,714 All you need is a steady hand 53 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,449 to tighten up that line. 54 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,285 Ow! 55 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,019 Right here. Yeah. 56 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,855 Right here. 57 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,924 Like I was saying, 58 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,859 this is not a sprint. 59 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,661 It's a marathon. 60 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,330 Barbers come and go, man. 61 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,432 How you think I been in the game so long? 62 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,067 Your daddy gave you the shop. 63 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,904 And your daddy gave you this unibrow, but ain't nobody-- 64 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,906 Let me-- Hey, hey. 65 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,675 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 66 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,077 * The bill collectors want their fees * 67 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,280 * The kids keep talking back to me * 68 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,216 * Family time 69 00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:30,284 * Family time, family time 70 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:33,921 * Family time 71 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,923 ** 72 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,529 Yo, Rod. 73 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,231 I was driving by, and I saw a line up the street. 74 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,399 What's going on? Ask the young fellow, man. 75 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:49,270 Oh, I came up. That's all me. 76 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,472 Yeah, but he did some type of computer wizardry, 77 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,242 and all of a sudden all these tattoos and piercings 78 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,710 and the cast of andquot;Black Twilight came out of nowhere. 79 00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:00,614 Wait. Computer wizardry? Mm-hmm. 80 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,550 I don't know what he's talking about, man. 81 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:05,253 Honesty, I just took some pics of some cuts I did 82 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,854 and posted them online. 83 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,758 Tag the right people, they all re-Vined, re-Tweeted, repost, 84 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,393 and the rest is history. 85 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,861 You can't hate on the young player 86 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,063 if he's bringing in all this paper. 87 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,466 So, uh, which one of you 88 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,302 skinny-jeans-wearin' fools want a cut? 89 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,606 Oh, no, that's old school. 90 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,275 He cool, man. Let him cut you up. 91 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,643 Old school? Man, I'm getting crazy-- 92 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,711 Hey. Brush--- 93 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,113 Listen, trust me, okay? 94 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:39,152 Look, this is gonna be your name on Tweeter. 95 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,689 Old-School Rod, that's gonna be you. 96 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,890 Okay, okay. 97 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,859 Hey, everybody, follow at Old-School Rod. 98 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,630 Look at that. Two, three, four, five. 99 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,733 Damn. They all do. 100 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,435 Check that out, though. 101 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,604 Man, that's... that's fast, dude. 102 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,307 It's quick. Okay. 103 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,809 (laughing) All right, let me... 104 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,311 let me try it out, then, you know what I'm saying? 105 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:08,316 So, uh, who want a cut from andquot;at Old-School Rod? 106 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,984 Hey, hey, hold on. 107 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,354 You are first. 108 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:17,458 Uh, who wants a cut... at empty chair dot here? 109 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,334 So, you wanna watch andquot;Real Housewives of Section 8andquot;? 110 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,837 Yeah. Oh, that ratchet fest is my guilty pleasure. 111 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,440 Mm-hmm. I think they are the only TV stars who can't afford 112 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,876 the cable package that their show is on. 113 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,578 (knocking) Hi! 114 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:41,515 Oh, I know you girls are not having an afternoon cocktail 115 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,983 without your big sis. 116 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,986 Well, grab a glass, why don't ya? 117 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,658 Damn, she's thirstier than the girls on that show. 118 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,925 Yes. 119 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,861 Okay, I'm glad you're both here. 120 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,963 There's something I need to tell you. 121 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,030 I'm having a baby. 122 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,132 Whoa, wait. What? How? What? 123 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,968 What-what are you talking about, Lori? 124 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,870 I'm having a baby. 125 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,405 Just like I said. 126 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,006 And that's just what it is. 127 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,641 Okay, well, that's a shocker, 128 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,810 but first off, you need to ease up off that wine. 129 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,044 Now, let's talk about this. 130 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,480 Who is the father? 131 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,548 I'm not so sure. 132 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,684 You're not so sure? 133 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,251 Lori, what-what are you talking about? 134 00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,687 You're too old for that. 135 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,389 What are mom and dad gonna say? 136 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:25,292 Well, I was hoping congratulations, for starters. 137 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:28,429 Okay, congratulations. Now, who the hell is the father? 138 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,163 I'm thinking about using a donor. 139 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,999 Lori, you can't be serious. 140 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,568 Yeah, I mean, you've been anti-baby since we were babies. 141 00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:36,504 Look, this is not about you guys. 142 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,905 This is about me, 143 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,172 and this is a choice that I made. 144 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,609 I'm not asking for your approval, 145 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,477 I'm just letting you know what time it is. 146 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:47,781 Okay. Okay, I respect that, but I wanna know why. 147 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,517 Why the sudden change? 148 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,719 Look at me. 149 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:55,055 I never imagined my life at 40 150 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:58,626 would be this big, huge albatross. 151 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,429 I don't have anyone to take care of me when I'm old. 152 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,698 So that's the only reason you want to have kids? 153 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,600 You do realize that you gotta take care of them 154 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,436 before they can take care of you? 155 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,170 Yeah, Lori, don't you think your reasons 156 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,940 for wanting to have a baby are just a little bit self-centered? 157 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,708 I suppose you're the only one allowed 158 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,777 to live the American Dream around here. 159 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,879 Lori, your life is not so bad. 160 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,450 I mean, you have a successful career as a... 161 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,518 What does she do? I'm a paralegal! 162 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,954 And I ain't even a lawyer. 163 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:30,458 I couldn't pass the bar... five times. 164 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:33,226 I don't have a man in my life. 165 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,629 Lori, okay, you cannot control 166 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,731 when the right man comes into your life. 167 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:41,201 No, but I can control having a baby. 168 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,805 Ladies, this is not the 1920s. 169 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,541 Women are perfectly capable 170 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,511 of raising children on their own. 171 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:53,280 So, you-- You've been really been thinking about this, huh? 172 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,315 I even went to a fertility doctor. 173 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,985 Well, then I guess, uh... 174 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,053 go on and get yourself a do-it-yourself kit 175 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,189 and make yourself a baby. 176 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,092 Okay. 177 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,627 To having a baby. 178 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,265 (softly) To having a baby. 179 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,841 Well, I'm not pregnant yet. 180 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:25,212 ** 181 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,781 (door closes) What's up, Rodney? 182 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,883 I came as soon as you called. What's happening? 183 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,251 My man. Ha ha. 184 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,520 Man, you know what? 185 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,188 Thinking abut making some changes around here. 186 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,757 Yeah. 187 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,259 I was thinking a lot about what that young buck was saying, man, 188 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,061 and I hate to admit it, but... 189 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,531 he's got what they-- what they call, uh... 190 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,432 ...swag. Yeah. 191 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,167 Okay, so what kinda changes you gonna make? 192 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,303 You gonna start wearing your pants hanging off your ass or something? 193 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,205 I'm talking about changes to the shop. 194 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,842 I want to bring up to speed, make it more modern. 195 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:58,546 The shop has been the same for 57 years. 196 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,748 This neighborhood needs a barber shop, 197 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,416 not some trendy, you know, hairstyling center. 198 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,653 Exactly. 199 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,188 Which is why I'm relocating. 200 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,057 What? Relocating? 201 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,859 Yeah. Where to? 202 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,561 Over to the Westside. 203 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,095 Why do you wanna go to the Westside? 204 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,665 Look, this-this is where your roots are, okay, your whole client base. 205 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,032 What about us? 206 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:22,369 You know how much money I stand to make on that side of town? 207 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,772 So that's what this is all about? Money? 208 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,239 You're damn skippy. 209 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:29,476 You see this tip jar next to my station? 210 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,378 Come on, man. 211 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,346 Look, I'm even changing the name. 212 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,949 I'm going from Magic Shears to Instacut. 213 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,652 I even got somebody working on the app. 214 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,588 I don't even know what an app is, 215 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,856 but I'm gonna get me one. 216 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:46,059 Man, I've been getting cuts here since I was a kid. 217 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,595 (sighs) Man... 218 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,731 Okay, so you gotta drive a little further, 219 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,634 spend a little more money. 220 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,803 Okay, a lot more money. 221 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,639 That's not even why I called you. 222 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,608 I called you here because... 223 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:04,277 I want to contract you to do the build-out for the new spot. 224 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,446 I don't know, Rodney. 225 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,281 It just feels wrong. 226 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,717 Feels wrong? Yeah. 227 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,184 I hear you, man. 228 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,620 Tell me, uh... 229 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:15,455 tell me how that check feels, though. 230 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,157 Oh, that check feels right. 231 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,992 Yeah, buddy. 232 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,763 I can't believe you're really doing this. 233 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,197 Believe it. 234 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,634 Picking your future baby's daddy off a website. 235 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,936 Well, it's better than picking him out of a bar. 236 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:32,039 And with this, I don't have to date a guy for six months 237 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,974 to figure out he's an idiot. 238 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,643 It's all laid out before me. 239 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,979 They're prescreened and ready for mama. 240 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,750 Oh, look at this one. 6'3andquot;, green eyes. 241 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,785 Your baby gonna look like Michael Ealy. 242 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,654 Yeah, on steroids. 243 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:47,988 Oh, look! 244 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,724 But he was the captain of the swim squad in his college. 245 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,092 And lookee here. 246 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,262 His family has a history of webbed feet. 247 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,665 No wonder your boy's gonna be a strong swimmer. 248 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,600 Nuh-uh, we don't want no mutant baby. Next! 249 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,069 (laughing) 250 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,403 Oh, my goodness! 251 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,808 andquot;Princeton undergrad, John Hopkins Medical School.andquot; 252 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:11,879 Oh, child, I'll be fine. I can pick myself a doctor! 253 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,814 Dang, this thing needs to come with phone numbers. 254 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,749 Mm-mm, you're gonna have to wait 18 years 255 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,217 for the kid to look him up. 256 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,520 Uh-oh, and look it here, Your doctor's only 5'3andquot;. 257 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,657 Ohh, your baby's gonna grow up to be Gary Coleman. 258 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,759 (both) What you talking about, Lisa? 259 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,161 (both laughing) 260 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,097 Don't you think this is a little bit weird, Lori? 261 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,967 I mean, you know, picking a man off some trivia 262 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,535 and planting a seed up in you? 263 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,637 How you even know they check these things? 264 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,439 Hmm. Lisa's got a point. 265 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,641 I mean, if he's such a super successful doctor, 266 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,112 then why is he selling his soldiers online for laundry? 267 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,546 I don't know. 268 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,548 Aren't there any guys you actually know 269 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,951 that might be able to help you out with this situation? 270 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,486 Well, I have given this some thought. 271 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,057 But the only guy that I know who's kind, 272 00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,393 good with kids, has proven genes 273 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,429 and can put up with my mouth is-- 274 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,267 What's up? 275 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,535 What's going on? 276 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,907 Hey, get this. 277 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,442 She wants me to be the father. 278 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,344 Hold up. Wait, wait. Hold up, hold up. 279 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,746 Let me get this straight. 280 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:22,082 Lisa's sister wants you to give her a baby. 281 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,118 What the hell is this word coming to? 282 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,354 Now, what is the big deal? 283 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,621 Just-- just do what you do at home. 284 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,391 But instead of a sock, use a cup. 285 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,361 I use Kleenex myself. 286 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,229 Anyway, I'm with Tony on this one, man. 287 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,965 I mean, what are you supposed to be to the kid? 288 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,632 You supposed to be the father or the uncle? 289 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,301 Yeah, I don't want my kids to be "brousins. 290 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:44,905 I got a couple brousins. What's wrong with that? 291 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,507 Oh! Brousins! 292 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,211 Like they cousins, but they're brothers. I get it. 293 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,213 But what if it's a girl? 294 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,316 Would it be a like a andquot;sisaunt 295 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:59,519 Well, I got a andquot;brunkle and a andquot;smaunt. 296 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:06,326 Hey, everybody, I got some great news for my wallet. 297 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,828 The shop's moving. 298 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,897 Moving? What are you talking about? 299 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,431 That's right. My main man Quentin 300 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,633 found us a spot on the Westside, 301 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,335 and I'm going for it. 302 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,170 Man, I ain't moving nowhere. 303 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,439 Oh. You're fired, then. 304 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,474 Oh, yeah? Uh, Westside did you say? 305 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,076 Yeah, I'm-I'm cool with the Westside. 306 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,146 Hey, and it's a great location, too. 307 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,548 We gonna have so much space to sell jeans, 308 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,283 I'm talking hair weaves, 309 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,684 I'm doing piercings, all that. 310 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,487 You opening up a barbershop or a swap meet? 311 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:38,125 Now, I know your dad Rondell when he first opened this shop, 312 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,393 and Rondell would not be too happy 313 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,562 with you throwing it all away. 314 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,966 First of all, my dad's name is Sam. 315 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,835 Right. You can't move, man. 316 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,702 My dad brought me here for my first cut. 317 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,839 I had my first kiss in the alley behind here. 318 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,240 I met my wife here. 319 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,875 You married my ex-wife! 320 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,877 And you're a son of a bitch for letting me go through with it. 321 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,745 You don't have to worry. 322 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,280 Real quiet over there, Ton. 323 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,548 Why don't you say something, man. 324 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:04,484 You got memories, too. No comment. 325 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,119 For the record, 326 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:09,056 Ton is the contractor that's working on the new spot. 327 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,357 What? 328 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,492 What part of andquot;no comment didn't you hear? 329 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,995 Say it ain't so, son. You're selling out. 330 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,596 I'm not selling out. 331 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,532 I just compromise my morals for financial gain. 332 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,234 Look, I tried to talk him out of it. 333 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,370 I told him that this was the center of the community and all that. 334 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,439 Look, y'all can be mad at me if you want to, 335 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,707 but it's too late. 336 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,142 It's a done deal. 337 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:32,212 There's a new business coming in next month. 338 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,347 (laughing) 339 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:39,486 Rodney, what are you laughing at? 340 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,223 Oh, man, I'm still thinking about andquot;brousins. 341 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:46,894 It's like andquot;cousins but andquot;brousins. 342 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,897 That's hilarious! 343 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:53,433 ** 344 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,741 What-what's going on? Is it mom? Is it dad? 345 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,377 (crying) It's me! 346 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,680 (Lisa) What do you mean, it's you? 347 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,649 Remember when I told you I went 348 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,419 to the fertility doctor the other day? 349 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,021 I got the results back, 350 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:16,323 and it turns out it doesn't even matter 351 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,925 who the donor is. 352 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:22,429 With my history of fi-- fi-- fi-- 353 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,831 fibroids, 354 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:30,103 my chances of having a baby are slim to none! 355 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,672 Oh. Come here. 356 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,642 (crying) 357 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,048 Okay. 358 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,150 Well, your only other option is a surrogate, 359 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,986 but where are you gonna find a woman who's healthy, 360 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,256 with good genes, who's attractive and... 361 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,691 Oh, hell, no. 362 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,127 Why not? You're perfect. 363 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,595 I know I'm perfect, 364 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,830 but you're not about to have me messin' up my body 365 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,166 with a bunch of stretch marks, 366 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,701 looking like a Bengal tiger for the rest of my life. 367 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,972 You know what? You have always been like this. 368 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,339 Always been like what? 369 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,508 A selfish shellfish. 370 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:13,113 Growing up, I was always there when you needed me. 371 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:17,317 I always gave you the clothes off my back. 372 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,087 Those were hand-me-downs. 373 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,022 How dare you call me selfish 374 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,324 when you just decided to have a baby, what, two days ago, 375 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,226 and all of a sudden I'm supposed to rent out my womb? 376 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,495 Lori, maybe you're right. 377 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,530 Maybe you're not meant to have children. 378 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,600 Oh, well, that's easy for you to say, Fertile Myrtle. 379 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,769 I mean, really, you've already got your family. 380 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,238 Okay, what, I'm supposed to feel bad 381 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,008 because I have children and you don't? 382 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,311 You're acting like we're obligated to do this for you. 383 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:48,548 Look, I didn't ask you. I know you're married. 384 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,917 I asked Rachel only because she's single. 385 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,120 I would never ask you to do something like that. 386 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,155 And you know you wouldn't have to ask, 387 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,624 because if it's something that really means that much to you, 388 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:00,027 I'd consider it. 389 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,561 (scoffs) 390 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,130 Oh, baby. 391 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,036 You know, Larry, 392 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,738 I think Pops would say I'm doing the right thing. 393 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,240 Uh-huh. 394 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,941 Well, maybe he'd reach down from the heavens and say, 395 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,377 andquot;Boy, you better put my damn photo back up on the wall.andquot; 396 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,480 (laughing) Knowing my father, he had to reach up. 397 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,953 Man, I'm gonna miss this place. 398 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,256 Well, maybe you shouldn't have agreed to build the new place. 399 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,891 You wanna come to my house and pay my bills, Larry? 400 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,226 Do I get all the benefits? 401 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,629 I'd ask for your benefits, but I've seen your wife. 402 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,466 Hey, man, why don't you tighten me up one last time for old times' sake? 403 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,368 You know what? This one's on the house. 404 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,170 I gotcha, babe. My man. 405 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,072 But the next one's gonna be double. 406 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,340 Are you sure about this? 407 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,076 I mean, this place is an institution. 408 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,078 Sorry, Tony, it's done. 409 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,645 Free Rodney's Shop! 410 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,149 Rodney, boom-by-aye! Rodney, boom-by-aye! 411 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,750 You can't sell this place, Rod. 412 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,320 And before you say anything, brother, yes, I owe you money, 413 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,090 but this shirt was free, as you can see. 414 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,092 Next thing, this is an establishment 415 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,094 that we have built together as a community, brother, 416 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,561 and you need to stand by it. 417 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,697 So, in honor of my protest, I'm going on a hunger strike. 418 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,099 Want some potato chips, brother? 419 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,901 Yeah, yes, damn, I'm so hungry. 420 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,703 Oh! 421 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:17,770 Don't get it twisted, though, 422 00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,005 I'm breaking my fast right now, 423 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,607 but the revolution starts on Monday, 424 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,276 and it will not be televised, brother. 425 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,146 (cell phone ringing) Hello? 426 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,116 What? Hold on. 427 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,583 No, no, you can't do this. 428 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:34,821 No, I've got a contract! 429 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:38,024 Hello? Uh... What happened? 430 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,193 Man, the people that's supposed to take over this lease, 431 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,861 they're pulling out. 432 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,896 So, what does that mean, you staying? 433 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,299 No, it means I'm going bankrupt 434 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,934 paying for two locations. 435 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,369 I'm screwed! 436 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,607 ** 437 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,144 (door opens) 438 00:17:57,144 --> 00:18:00,880 Baby, I just had the craziest day. 439 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,549 What's wrong with her? 440 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,318 Uh, Tony, can we talk in the kitchen? 441 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,287 This is my house. Can't they go in the kitchen? 442 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,721 Or better yet, their kitchens? 443 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,162 Go in the kitchen. 444 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,431 Baby, what's going on? 445 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,899 Tony, I wanna have a baby. 446 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,568 Are we back on this baby thing again? 447 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:26,206 No, it came out wrong. I-- I wanna have a baby for Lori. 448 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:29,041 Tell your sister to grow her own babies! 449 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,777 (softer voice) Tell her to grow her own babies. 450 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,946 Let's just say she doesn't have any more... 451 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,448 fertile ground. 452 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,917 So she wants to use my pasture? 453 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,187 Our pasture. 454 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:42,855 Your pasture. 455 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,461 Okay, I'm sorry for calling you selfish. 456 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,364 I forgive you. 457 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:58,538 (slowly) And you're sorry for calling me selfish, too. 458 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,340 I guess. 459 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:03,976 Look, you know I would do anything for you. 460 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,812 You want a baby shower? I got you. 461 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,948 But there are just some things that are off the table, 462 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,484 like...my lady parts. 463 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,453 I know, I know I was wrong. 464 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,721 I'm sorry. 465 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,423 It's just this whole andquot;having a baby 466 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,291 is driving me crazy. 467 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:22,562 It's like my biological clock has got me ticking. 468 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,331 If you think this is a good idea, 469 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:27,300 then I support you... and your sister. 470 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:31,070 Oh, thank you, baby. 471 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,140 Ooh! 472 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:38,245 That was so sweet! 473 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:41,047 That's what family's all about. 474 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,282 Ah! 475 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,651 But I can't have you carrying my baby. 476 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,519 What? Lori, can't you make up your mind 477 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,020 about one damn thing in your life? 478 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,856 Okay, okay, okay. 479 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:53,660 Maybe I was being a little too dramatic 480 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,495 about the whole baby thing. 481 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:59,031 I mean, I thought that having a baby 482 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,268 would help me make a family. 483 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:04,471 But I realize that I've already got a family. 484 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,439 All of you are my family. 485 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,809 And there is no family 486 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:13,145 better than the one I already have. 487 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:16,015 I love you guys. Love you. 488 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,084 All right. 489 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:21,120 I know that I was talking a lot of mess earlier, 490 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,855 but the truth is, 491 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,858 if you really needed one of us to have your baby... 492 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,160 ain't no way it was gonna be me, okay? 493 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,796 'Cause, uh, stretch marks ain't the lick. 494 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,864 Besides, you ain't gonna have me walking around 495 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,166 looking like I'm wearing a corduroy jumpsuit every day. 496 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,802 Okay, whatever. Where's the wine? 497 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,203 I ain't having a baby now. 498 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,805 You know where the wine is. 499 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,841 ** 500 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,646 What's going on? You back in business? 501 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:49,316 Hell, yeah. 502 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,418 Can't keep a good institution down. 503 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,886 I knew my protest would work, man... 504 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,489 until Miss Jenkins starts selling them plates. 505 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,758 Man, it through the whole revolution to a screeching halt. 506 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,361 Man, your life is gonna come to a screeching halt 507 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:04,163 if you don't pay me for some of them haircuts I gave you last week. 508 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,165 Come on, Larry! Let that go, man! 509 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,534 That's in the past, brother! 510 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,201 My pockets are a little light right now. 511 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,470 Can you get off my back? 512 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,572 Then how you got money for Miss Jenkins' plates? 513 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,674 Don't worry about how I got money for Miss Jenkins' plates. 514 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,975 That's for me, Miss Jenkins 515 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,844 and her husband that's always out of town. 516 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,079 All right, brother? Do you get the message? 517 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,248 Tony, I thought about what you said. 518 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:26,118 I thought about what all of y'all said, 519 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,187 and I thought them pulling out of the lease was a curse, 520 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:31,190 but it turns out it was a blessing. 521 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,360 But aren't you gonna go bankrupt? 522 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,927 No. 523 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,764 Hey, the young buck has got A-1 credit. 524 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,265 What? Yeah! 525 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,900 He convinced me he could make a go of it, 526 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,135 so he's taking over the lease at the other spot. 527 00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,372 He's my personal government bailout. 528 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,907 So, Rodney's gonna stay, baby. 529 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,709 All right! Yeah! 530 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:53,613 I-I still get to-- 531 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:57,584 You still get the bid on the other spot. I got you, man.